Has it really been a month?

Why, yes, it has been a month.  Would you look at that!

To say that this blog has been the low man on my totem pole of priorities would not be an exaggeration.  We've received back the behavioral psychologist's 10-page report on her observations of VOTU and it states that the observer does not believe that VOTU is autistic.  Instead, she thinks he suffers from 'intelligence deficiency'.  Think on that for a moment.

'Intelligence deficiency'

Is that what they're calling it these days?

I heard that and immediately winged back to the first behavioral psychologist I consulted about DTYM's special needs who told me that my son's 'oppositional behavior' (ie, not doing what the instructors asked him to do when they asked him to do it and/or as many times as they wanted) was "due to parental lack of enforcing limits and setting boundaries."  I carried that with me for five years.  Five years where I thought that if I tried harder, pushed harder, was the best, most capable, most involved parent I could be then my child's behavior would magically fix itself.  In trying to be this paragon of parental virtue I made myself miserable and my son an anxious wreck.  It turns out that my older child suffers from the inattentive form of ADHD, which results in his being easily distracted and having difficulty staying focused through, say, a 40-minute school segment.  Due to his condition, he also has difficulty picking up on unspoken social language; he's too distracted to observe facial expressions and body language, so he has difficulty connecting with his peers.  I would love to go back to that behavioral psychologist and bash him upside the head.  Instead, I'm taking from it a very valuable lesson--always get a second opinion.  And a third.  And a fourth.  And a fifth.  Get as many opinions as you need to until you figure out the real reason for what's happening with you and/or your child.

This time, I will have VOTU go through more testing--again, to (I hope) rule out this ridiculous finding.  Testing is like taking a list with all sorts of diagnoses and then ruling them out one by one.  This may be a long, involved process of elimination but we'll get through it.  Whatever the findings, I can only hope that the results mean more support, better support, and a clearer path for us to follow to guide VOTU towards success.

My son does not have an 'intelligence deficiency'.  Intelligence cannot only be measured in scholastic performance.  As I discussed another matter with his teacher, we both watched my five year old draw a person with a head, a fully detailed body (including a striped button-down shirt), arms and legs, hands and feet, a face with eyebrows, ears, and hair.  His teachers have always told me how artistic he is and how much he loves drawing, painting, sculpting, etc.  He may not be a scholastic whiz but his talents, interests, and 'intelligence' are clear.

At the very least, I'm hoping to have him repeat kindergarten.  *sighs*

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Zoya 'Godiva'

Featuring the SUBTLEST ACCENT NAIL EVER!!!!

Seriously.

Zoya 'Godiva' is from the 2013 Pixie Dust collection.  The Pixie Dust collection, like the OPI 'Liquid Sand' collection, is a finish marked by a very fine, very gritty finish.  Think of the grittiest fine glitter you own used without topcoat and that's how this finish feels.  It skeeved me out for about a half day after it dried--I would stroke it and get weird shivers down my spine.  I'm probably too tactile for it?  LOL.  The next day, however, I was going up to all my friends and urging them to feel my nail polish finish--even my fitness trainer.  Everyone agreed that it felt like sandpaper.  So it looks like really fine, glittery sandpaper, lol.

'Godiva' is a beige color with some fine silvery glitter.  It's like my perfect beige!  I needed three coats for opacity and, because it's Zoya, I had to use drying drops instead of quick dry topcoat.  I had received a sample of Qtica drying drops with my last Zoya purchase and wow!  They worked amazingly well.  I'm going to have to invest in quality drying drops--no more DryKwik for me!

This morning, I decided to do an 'accent' nail and topcoated the nail on my ring finger.  Topcoat makes the glitter pop and the polish look almost three-dimensional.  I did have to use several coats of topcoat as the finish is basically a hungry glitter.  I can't say which I like better, the natural matte finish or adding topcoat.  Here's the pic:

Taken under overcast skies.  Please click for greater detail.

I don't know about you but I think that 'Godiva' may be the best work-safe way to rock this new sand finish trend.  I love how it looks both on its own and with topcoat.  Very pretty, very subtle, and all around a WIN.

Zoya polishes can be purchased on their website.  The Pixie Dust collection is $9 each; other colors go for $8.  Sign up for the mailing list and Zoya will send you fabulous coupon codes--I believe that the code I took advantage of for this order was a Spend $10, Get 3 free polishes (pay for shipping).  The Pixie Dust collection wasn't included in the free polishes but I bought three of the Pixie Dust collection, one other color and received three free colors for a total of 7 colors for less than $40.  Add shipping and it was still a good deal, so the coupon codes are definitely worth it.  However, Zoya does NOT ship internationally or to APO/FPO addresses, so you may need to have it shipped to a friend who can forward it to you or purchase on Amazon.

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Whew!

First of all, I'd like to apologize to both Ananka and nickeeschickee (Lu) about shipping their prizes so late.  I've emailed both of you.  Lu, you also won my birthday giveaway so your package is larger than you might be expecting.  I hope both packages get to the two of you soon!

No word yet on VOTU's assessment (these things take time).  I will say that I have been grieving this past week--grieving for my own lost expectations and hopes.  I needed to take this time to realize that whatever is going on with my children, it doesn't change them.  They'll keep going on being themselves.  If they do get labelled, I want the label to assist them in getting the services and the support they need, not discriminated against by their peers.  I don't want the label to define them.  After the stress and uncertainty with DTYM, after constantly having people giving me 'helpful' advice, after grieving when I realized the challenges my eldest would face--the label has helped him.  The label makes sure that I am able to advocate for my child.

Will the label affect HubbaHubbaHubby's career?  Sadly, yes.  If a duty station does not have the facilities to provide the support our children need, then he'll either be sent by himself or he'll have to go somewhere that can support our kids.  This limits HubbaHubbaHubby's mobility within the military and could potentially adversely affect his upwards career movement.  However, I'm willing to sacrifice that if it means the boys can get the support they need.

I am so grateful that I live where I do right now.  I doubt I'd be able to receive the same support so quickly in California, where we were previously stationed.  It took six month for the school system to schedule VOTU's speech therapy; I don't know how hard I would have had to fight for all of the learning support, extra occupational therapy, and the amazing advocacy network that is over here.  To be honest, for this reason alone I don't ever want to leave.

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Anti-Valentine's Day mani

Okay, so Monday hasn't been a very good day for me.  During the IEP meeting for VOTU (the school's plan for helping my son with his speech and developmental issues) his occupational therapist asked me if I would mind having a behavioral psychologist evaluate him for autism.  My eldest, DTYM, is borderline autistic--he demonstrates behaviors indicative of autism but not enough of the behaviors to warrant a diagnosis-- so I thought I knew which behaviors would raise the red flag.  VOTU exhibits so few of the behaviors that I assumed they were learned from DTYM.  I hope that whatever behaviors VOTU is indicating are learned; watching my kids struggle where their friends excel is heartbreaking.

Anyhow, today's mani was in part inspired by a suggestion on a nail board and also something that had been percolating for a while.  Here's the pic:

Taken with flash; click for greater detail.

For the black nails I used Wet 'n Wild Black Creme and Deborah Lippmann 'Ruby Red Slipper'.  The red nails are OPI 'Vodka & Caviar' with white hearts in striping paint and skull & crossbones stickers.  So... yeah, not really feeling Valentine's Day right now.  Maybe I'll be more lovey-dovey later.  

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So... this is what happens when you don't wear the right base coat...

To preface: I've been wearing a combo basecoat of 1 coat Sally Hansen Triple Strong and one coat of CND Stickey with every mani for over a year.  My Triple Strong had been getting super-goopy and I had thinned it as much as I dared so I decided to do my last mani--the pink one--without it.  What was the harm?, I asked myself.  A few days later I removed it and this happened:

Taken with flash.  Click for greater detail (not sure if anyone wants to see greater detail of this one).

This really isn't how I wanted my first naked nails post to go.

Yeeaaah.  This staining is a bright orange coral.  Every method I've attempted hasn't even lightened it.  If this isn't a good reason to find and stick with your Holy Grail base coat combo then I can't think of one.  

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Wet 'n Wild 'Candy-licious' w/ HitPolish 'Mr. Bubble'

I shortened my 'swatch hand' nails because I've a formal event in early March and I want all of my nails to be the same length.  I'm excited to go but nervous; I've only attended two formal events in my life and both experiences were... well, experiences.  This particular event is the Seabee Ball.  Balls are basically military-sponsored proms that are held every year and extremely expensive for me as that gown, underpinnings, jewelry, hair, makeup, shoes, etc., must usually be purchased because I don't really attend them.  I'm usually the person helping her friends to get all prettied up and staying home watching their kids!

Today's mani was kind of thrown together.  I've been trying to do a Valentine's Day mani but every time I attempt it the thing won't dry and I wake up with crazy sheet marks!  It's quite frustrating.

Wet 'n Wild 'Candy-licious' is a girly, almost Barbie pink.  I didn't expect to like it as much as I do!  The formula was somewhat streaky on the first coat and then evened out (mostly) with the second; I think if the bottle didn't have that weird, stiff 'perfect stroke' brush it would have worked better.  As it was, in spite of the paddle brush it was easy to control and needed minimal cleanup.

Over that I applied HitPolish 'Mr. Bubble', which has a clear base and multi-sized, multi-shaped matte pink, white, and blue glitter.  I've been staring at this glitter polish for weeks now trying to figure out which color would make the best underwear for it and 'Candy-licious' is probably not it--it's nearly the same pink as the glitter (personally, I kind of like that as it makes the blue and white glitter stand out more).  The following picture is 1) only color-accurate to 'Candy-licious' and 2) two coats of 'Mr. Bubble'.

Taken with flash; click for greater detail.  I had to do some tweaking with my photo program; this is color-accurate to the base polish ONLY.  My flash makes the blue glitter appear much flatter and brighter than it is in real life.

As I'm not a big fan of pink, this look probably isn't going to last a full day.  >.<  Still, it's cute.  I think 'Mr. Bubble' would be a great gift for a baby shower, lol. 

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Sakura Branches Pendant

This is a pendant that I made and gave to a friend of mine who is leaving the island.  She is the first friend I made here and I think that, if I hadn't befriended her, I may still be holed up in my apartment hiding away from all the people.  The funny thing is that she feels the same way about me!  I guess that we were each other's Okinawa 'Gateway Friend'--that friend you make who restores your confidence and enables you to put yourself out there socially and take risks.  I'm going to miss her so very much.  

She was wearing the necklace when I took the picture; I didn't have permission to show her face, so I cropped and enlarged it as best I could.  It's a bit blurry but I'm very proud of the pendant!  

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